"What I Have Left"

(9-27-03)

When I was a young boy, I dreamed

A woman of unmeasurable feeling

Years later and still lost, I marry

One who doesn't fill this deep emptiness

Trying to fight my way through

Then something changes

I feel happy and in love

She's everything I ever dreamed

Realizing it wasn't such a waste of time

Then one day I return home

And learn my baby has died

I sit here now, a week later

Wondering what I have left

I had so longed to fill that hole

A taste of how good things can be

And now that I've lost it

Nothing seems to be important

Leaving a life for awhile

I sink into myself in search of truth

Seemingly suicidal to outsiders

Exploring my insides to find the hope

Knowing that there is still a part of her

The longer it takes me to find it

I feel lost and ever so cold

Will I ever touch a face so sweet?

It seems as if my destiny

Is to reach and almost grasp

Only to have the treasure fall away 

However, I do not learn a thing

I continue to reach and fall

Never knowing when it may end

One day I may find the gold again

And I will then know what I should believe