"Hurts To Understand"

8-30-03

You start to look and wandering around

Wondering inside "Does he really love me?" 

Trying so hard and often do succeed

As the stars fall over a different world

Feeling the heart of him and smile

Knowing that for you it is worthwhile

As I sit and ponder the thoughts

Feeling as though she's drifted away

Not having contact for some time

Feeling lost and unusually vulnerable

Though the time has not been long

For me, the days keep passing

Patience though continues to linger on

Your working hard through it all

Walking on the cobbelstone to lean

Against the white catherdal-style building

Knowing that the sun is not still shining

In the world he walks and romes

You bloom as he lays down to sleep

Trying so hard to be there for her

Setting aside my doubts and worries

To be strong in another world

As time goes and communication is brief

Laughing and talking of future days

For me, the days keep passing

Each time it hurts more to say goodbye

You slowly notice things arise

Feel him become more reserved and quiet

Had always thought that would be alright

Before standing up and going back to this life

Unable to derail these goals and hopes

You know that he admires this

I lean back in this chair and listen
To nothing or something, it is unclear

Knowing in my heart she's not coming back

Taking a breath to relieve the stomach pain

Head laying back and eyes looking up

Knowing in my heart that things have changed

This is one time it did hurt to understand.