"Brief Moment of Confession"
11-02-03
 
Distant are the voices once heard
Appearing in my mind as if it never happened
Walking a path of destruction now alone
Even though those memories still remind me
Closing my eyes, not bearing to think any longer
Closing the gap between myself and reality
Losing the hope which pushed me so far
Losing the love that I expressed so free
 
The intesity of the pain not seen by them
Though it's my fault, the hurt grows the same
Sleeping all day and not seeing the sun
Learning to live as the one who doesn't fit in
Wondering what has happened to me?
Is it all self inflicted or even a destiny?
Welcoming death if it may come
Though I will not create the events myself
 
The person you admired and respected
Is now dead and gone, no longer exists
An empty mass of flesh remains today
Could you forgive me for losing touch?
Losing emotions as night turns into day 
Day after day the events play out the same
The fake personna seen by those around me
Rarely getting me to talk about how I feel
 
Curled up and silent in the place I call home
My ears ringing from the nothingness I hear
I open the notebook and write once again
Hoping you'll forgive the loss of emotions within
I must end this brief moment of confession
Not enough energy to keep the truth going
Maybe one day I"ll see you again as I was
Maybe I'll never bounce back and die as I am